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    Coronavirus jokes that will improve your quarantine a little

    Coronavirus jokes that will improve your quarantine a little


    GET YOUR FINAL PINK. TODAY WAS WHAT IS KNOWN AS SUPER TUESDAY II, THE TEQUILA AT SUPER TUESDAY I. FROM THIS HOUR, BIDEN WON MISSISSIPPI, MISSOURI, AND MICHIGAN.

    THE THREE DEMOCRATS STILL RUNNING ARE JOE BIDEN, BERNIE SANDERS, AND ALSO, IN CASE THEY DON'T SURVIVE THE CORONAVIRUS BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL TABLE OF TULSI. DOES TULSI GABBARD STILL KNOW THAT HE IS STILL ON THE RACE? I think it's one of those things where you forget to cancel your membership in the Health Club. SO BERNIE SANDERS AND JOE BIDEN CANCELED CAMPAIGN RATINGS. NARM IS GOING TO PROCEED NORMALLY, WHICH WOULD BE A FIRST. PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID IT HAS NOT BEEN TESTED FOR CORONAVIRUSES BUT HAS SYPHILIS. NO. PLANS TO CONTINUE TO SHAKE YOUR HAND TO MAKE SURE YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM IS PERFECT. MANY CALL IT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL IMMUNE SYSTEM EVER CREATED. THE WHITE HOUSE SAYS THEY HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL WHICH MAY BE WHY THEY HAVE DELAYED A PUBLICATION ON THE PANDEMIC. ONE REASON WE CAN'T BE PREPARED IS TO TRUMP UP THE WHOLE US PANDEMIC RESPONSE TEAM. USA TO SAVE MONEY. YOU HAVE A PLAN.

    He commented in a tweet, we need the wall more than ever. THIS IS FROM A RETWEET OF AN INDIVIDUAL WHO THINKS THE WALL CAN HELP CONTROL VIRUSES. THERE ARE ALMOST 1,000 CASES OF CORONAVIRUSES IN AMERICA. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THERE ARE IN MEXICO? LESS THAN TEN. You are right, the wall would help protect them from us. WELL? THE PRESIDENT'S NEW HEAD OF STAFF IS UNDER QUARANTINE, MARK MEADOWS, WHO STARTED HIS WORK. He is working from home now. THERE ARE MEN OF THE CONGRESS IN QUARANTINE. TED CRUZ was quarantined, out of the public eye for two glorious weeks, and the disease control center issued a special warning about that. Good morning. AS YOU KNOW, SENATOR TED CRUZ IS UNDER THE AUTOMATIC QUARANTINE AFTER CONTACTING COVID-19. EARLY INVESTIGATION SUGGESTS THAT THIS VIRAL STRAIN MAY HAVE ORIGINATED IN BATS.

    As we know, Senator Cruz is a bat that is covered in parasitic worms. That is why we are urging CORONAVIRUS to take the test. CORONAVIRUSES, IF YOU DISPLAY ANY SYMPTOMS OF INFECTION AS A RESULT OF CONTACT WITH TED CRUZ, WHICH INCLUDES SWEAT, DO NOT PUBLISH YOUR FAVORITE PORTS ON TWITTER PLEASE DO THE TEST IMMEDIATELY. >> Jimmy: PEOPLE ARE VERY WORKED. This is how some parents at MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE, MANAGE THE SITUATION. Nobody wants to be sick. >> THE PARENTS OF THE CHILDREN ARE NOT PLAYING AROUND. MANY CLEANED THEIR CHILDREN BELOW, AND SOME EVEN SPRAYED THEM WITH A DISINFECTANT SPRAYER AS THEY are TAKEN THEM HOME. I clean my children's backpack. I kept them safe. >> SOME TAKEN MORE EXTREME MEASURES. >> That's ruined. We are going to die. >> Jimmy: MOM, DON'T YOU LET ME COME TO SCHOOL TODAY WITH THIS BAG ON YOUR HEAD? THE CORONAVIRUS ALSO HAS AN IMPACT ON THE GAME SHOWS OF AMERICA. "WHEEL OF FORTUNE" AND "JEOPARDY" IS TAPED WITHOUT A STUDY HEARING. FOR A SHOW NAMED JEOPARDY THEY ARE BEING RISKY. EVEN WEIRDER WOULD NOT BE PUBLIC ABOUT "THE PRICE IS RIGHT".

     Here it comes! THE PRICE IS GOOD! DAVID SAHAGEN, COME DOWN! PAUL LAYIR, COME DOWN! TAMMY VANDER, COME DOWN! GREG RICHARDSON, COME DOWN! YOU ARE THE FIRST CONTESTANT ON "THE PRICE IS RIGHT", AND NOW, IT'S YOUR HOSTEL, DREW CAREY! >> Jimmy: SO THEY ARE NOT MAKING ANY OPPORTUNITY. THERE ARE CANCELLATIONS THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY. HARVARD IS SENDING STUDENTS HOME, CHANGING TO VIRTUAL CLASSES. THE COACHELLA MUSIC FESTIVAL HAS BEEN POSTPONED. BUFFETS CLOSE IN LAS VEGAS.

    THIS IS WHEN IT'S SERIOUS TO ME. NOT EVERYONE IS LETTING THE VIRUSES RAIN IN THEIR PARADE. THE REALLY IMPORTANT EVENTS YOU WILL BE HAPPY TO KNOW WILL STILL CONTINUE AS SCHEDULED. >> Despite the threat of the virus, many mass gatherings continue to take place. THE WEST OF FRANCE, FOR EXAMPLE, THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE GATHERED ROTATED THE WORLD RECORD FOR THE LARGEST GATHERING OF POOLS. >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE BAD GARGOMELE PLAN COMES TO WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING SOMETHING TO HELP SLOW THE VIRUS CALLED THE BUMP.

    ALTHOUGH PRINCE HARRY IS, IS HE STILL PRINCE HARRY? OR ONLY A MAN NAMED HARRY NOW. THIS IS INTERESTING. THE DUTCH PRIME MINISTER IS THE BUMP FRIENDLY, TOO. HE MADE A PRESS CONFERENCE TO ANNOUNCE THE NEW NO HANDSHAKE POLICY. [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] >> Jimmy: YES, HE DID IT NINE SECONDS BEFORE VIOLATING THAT. IT'S HARD.

     I don't know if you noticed, but now everyone seems to think they are an expert on the coronavirus. I INCLUDED I KNOW EVERYTHING. I JOIN A GROUP OF PEOPLE AND SPEAK AS IF I HAVE BEEN A PROFESSOR OF IMMUNOLOGY FOR 35 YEARS. ANG KNOWL KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. WE GO OUT TO SFROOET STREET STREET AND ASK THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO GIVE US WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT CORONAVIRUSES. >> WE ARE HERE TALKING TO PEOPLE ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS.

    Coronavirus jokes that will improve your quarantine a little.

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